Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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