Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm drive I can fine osifer
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
