Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
