So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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