You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
