nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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