OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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