He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
