It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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