Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
