I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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