where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
