I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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