i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
