I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
