So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
