I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
