Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
