$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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