I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Who died my cat blue again?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
