Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
No stitches, just platelets and will power
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
