Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
