Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Come see our sink grown plant.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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