I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
