I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
