Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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