when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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