Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
