worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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