is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
