Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
