I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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