Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
