VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
