At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
