Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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