Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
