mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize