bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you didnt know i had herpes?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
