Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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