how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize