I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my shit smells like andre
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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