garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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