My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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