You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
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Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
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You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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