Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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