chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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