Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
