I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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