I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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