her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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