You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
