Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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