The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
