Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
