Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
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buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.